anyway, I was invited by my classmates to watch Harry Potter 2 days ago.
I quit Harry Potter and movies quite long ago really. Except to teman my friends or family, I don't watch anything in the media ( well almost ).
When I was a younger Christian, I thought Harry Potter was plain evil with some sugar coated front. That was probably a year a go. I've grown a year older. Let me see what I think of it. Personally I think all sorts of movie which brings a message, positibe or negative, it somehow affects my thoughts for quite sometime, affecting my relationship with God.
Say, a movie talking about friendships, makes me think about my own relationships with other people. Simple enough. As for Harry Potter, when I read the book, it just brings me into a world of fantasy, like some beautiful dream world - with all the betrayal and mystery which simply makes me hold the book for the rest of the day. When I finish reading it, it seems that I always have some sort of... lag. It takes quite some time for me to get back to reality. I guess same goes for the movie - just to a lesser extent.
So my friend Ker Siung invited me to go. So I said, naturally everything is alright and I would go. Only one thing, I said I want to pray about it and see if God says it is something He approves of.
During that day ( which is 2 days ago from now ), I was re-reding Heaven is so real. Many critics say many things about this book. but I find it alright. The way I see that woman pray is just amazing. and I don't really like reading what the critics say. If a modern day Paul would say something about that book, I would read. But I see many people simply just critisizing, not knowing that their life amount o almost nothing. Its not as if they are some missionary who gave their lives wholly to Jesus, its not like they are some famous miracle workers - they simply talk as if they are very smart. I used to be something like that. Even the Bible says, knowledge puffs up, but love edifies. Knowledge, even the head knowledge of the Bible can puff up and make you a Pharisee.
but anyway, one of the things I was inspired in the book is wholehearted obedience which shows through many aspects, and the one that caught my attention was her prayer life.
So from that night onwards, I thought it would be good that I spend 2 hours every night, to simply pray, be still and hear whatever God speaks to me. And if I simply couldn't hear anything, I'll just read the Bible. I have only been doing that for 2 nights, I hope I can continue, so at least I will always be on track, and also see other people saved as I see God's hand moving across the nation.
anyway, yesterday morning till evening, I was in a driving institute hearing some Ceramah for 6 hours. During break, I just got off by myself and read the Bible and prayed. Some of the time, I wanted to share the news about Jesus Christ, God, going to heaven to people around me. but when I simply calmed myself down, I somehow concluded that it was probably something I thought of. Then I will pray for that person. To a certain extent, I think too that God isn't wanting me to simply speak to every other person I meet on my way walking to the bus stop about Him. but I don't know.
I really hope to find a helper. but I can't find any. Everybody seems (well, maybe there are some that I just don't know) so busy and caught up with something. Christian guys so caught up with both Christian and non Christian girls? well maybe not many, some with studies, this and that. How many Christian guys actually want to really know God and are making sacrifices... wait, it is even shameful to call it a sacrifice. Some plainly rather waste time than seek God. Fine. Christian girls? I'm greatful that God didn;t create so many super model looking Christian girls. for you other girls out there, I just want to say, pobably you came to know Jesus Christ today, because some not so physically attractive looking Christian girl was praying that your dear souls wouldn't be burned in fire. and now you are saved. Jesus Christ saved us for good works. Not for boyfriends. Not for fashion. Not for bling blings. Quite a lot about girls eh? Afterall, Eve got deceived and got attracted to the " nice and tempting" things. Adam gave in to Eve.
Why? why?
I know why. Maybe not all, but some reasons. Because you go to Christian concerts, blast your com with Christian music, loud praise songs - and leave the prayer closet empty. You probably frequent the toilet more than your prayer closet! You go ball, and shopping ( I'm not talking about groceries, you know what kind of lepak shopping I'm talking about ) more than you frequent a prayer meeting. You cry out a thousand promises when you pray, but out of a thousand parts, God knows if you actually reserved one pathetic part for Him. Paying tithes like some stupid obligation. Give God 10% and then spend the 90% like nobody business? Doesn't creation tell you that God owns 100%? the 90%, God expects us to be good stewards? talking about tithe! People actually tithe their hearts! Becoming more holy on sundays, nd live others for themselves. Insult!
Sorry for such a language. I am sick of my old behaviour. I used to be like that. I'm scolding that old man, and plainly demonstrating my hate against such evil and lazy intentions. I mean, I'm not sorry for the language, I'm just being like city people. NICE you know, good manners?
Yeah, talking about that. People rather be nice than be right. It would be alright if the rest of the world lived like that, but sometimes, and most of the time Christians get caught up with nonsense like this.
O. I got sidetracked.. what was I talking about? *check...check* Yeah, I know. I sound proud. I know that. I think I should tone down my voice, because yes, God knows that if I get a but too hyped up, I let my guards down and Satan comes right from the front. but I think this. If a Christian is reading this, the first thought that comes to him is that me being proud instead of their own prayerlessness, then be careful. Because you might be probably talking about the speck in my eye and ignoring that plank. However, I just want to clarify that I'm not writing because I pray 5 hours a day and read the Bible 5 times a year. I do have my weaknesses and I struggle with it everyday. I think I'm writing this to those who continue willingly to live in sin and hate turning back to God. God says, " why should you die? Repent and live! "
anyway, evening came. I was flipping though the newspapers when I just saw 1 familiar face! Oh, Esther! DUMC Esther with drumset... so I quickly called up Shen and got Esther's number and told her. Apparently she knew bout it.... like... 10 hours before. Oh well. Okay. She is nice. Is it something Australian, or is it Christian? She said some very kind stuff when I tengah malu. I think it is those stuff you hear overseas...
ya know...
" Oh, you're lookin' spectacular today!!!"
" Oh you look great!"
but anyway, that was nice. I think it is not a very Asian culture. Asians probably go...
" wah, you very rich ar.."
" no la no la.... i very poor oni, where got like you....."
" haha, nola... my business not very good oni la, losing money one..."
Well anyway, Ker Siung was caught in a traffic jam. So Tong Soon came and fetched me to Sunway Pyramid. The people going were, Yik Hui, Tong Soon, Ker Siung ( all 3 my classmates ) and Ker Siung's friend... forgotten name.
So at around 7:30, Tong Soon and I left my house for SP. Went McDonalds. Then we were talking about our holidays, and I told him I was baptized in the Holy Ghost. He didn't knew much of that, I explained very little anyway.
Then he asked me if my God's name is "Ye He Hwa" ( YHWH ) or simply Jehovah in english. So I said yes, but I explained that Christians seldom mention that name, so I thought probably he met a Jehovah Witness. Oh yeah, Jehovah Witnesses and Mormons, go from door to door preaching their twisted theology. Preaching from door to door is cool, I wish that sort of zeal would be more evident among Christians too. but nevermind, I believe that those who wants to see lives saved have their many ways to preach the gospel instead of just going from door to door.
From there, Tong Soon and I talked a bit about cults, and of course, if Satan is in the topic, of course I must talk about Jesus! whats the point of telling about cults without telling about the REAL Master? So we talked and talked about Jesus for quite long..
at 8:30 we went into the cinema. Before the movie began, I bowed my head to God and prayed. I prayed that I won't get influenced or distracted or think about Harry Potter or think about those so nice magic stuff after I watch the movie. I actually thought of closing my eyes and praying throughout the movie at first. but I decided not to.
After the movie, which Cedric Diggory died... Tong Soon and I talked about the nice fantasies in the movie, and I also pointed out that firstly, this life isn't as fun as the Harry Potter life, and life ends with death in both places. They are void of hope and life after they die. and even on this earth it is both better and worse. Better because for the man who knows Jesus, he has everlasting life and more wonderful things than the Harry potter movie. For the man that lives in sin and rebel against God, and does not know Jesus - it would be a million times better if he were not born. So I explained a little about hell, heaven, Jesus, God... all the way from the cinema the one of the lowest ground for carpark, all the way back to my house. We must have talked for more than 20 minutes like that. So salvation story was told, everything ws done, my job as a witness is done. but God wouldn't leave me there because God lives in me. So I went home, I prayed for Tong Soon, as well as my other classmates. They just have to know Jesus!
anyway, before that, I called Pei Ling my friend to update her on my life. She may not be walking with a lot of signs and wonders in her life, but I know that she wants to please God and she helped me a lot in my walk with God - as in the scale of a human relative to so many other people I know. So it was cool.
around 12 ( after having a few minutes of rest ), I started praying. I don't know, but for the first few nights, I guess it is not easy to pray for 2 hours alone. so for the first 10-15 minutes, I simply asked God to search my heart for anything wrong in my heart, any sins that He wants to expose, so I will repent and confess it first. There was a but of praise in the beginning. I suppose that the pattern of praise before anything has a meaning. Probably, praising God means acknowledging His Power to forgive, then only we confess our sins? or something like that. but I guess for the moment, nevermind.
then one thing God put out was my language.
I used to say, if I go home too late my dad will kill me. I think I shouldn't say that. I know my dad cares for me, and he has high blood pressure now. So I don;t wanna pressure him more. So I will tell other people I will go home early because my dad likes it. I think that would be cool. and also I should think a little more before I say anything ( or type I suppose ). I often say something too fast, then thinking about it later, I just know that I could have said the same thing 10 times better, more effective and also in a more polite way.
After that, I asked God to lay on my heart something that concerns Him. I thought probably some kids in Africa would pop up in my mind... but no. Its a friend I know. I don't think it would be nice or useful for me to put the name here. That friend's family is facing something bigger than they know. So I prayed and plead with God to keep that person close to Him as He strengthens this friend as this friend goes through all these. I guess some of the problems happened because of disobedience. but certain things, people normally learn it the hard way. and I hope my friend can go through all these safely, with the whole family.
then the news a few days ago popped up into my mind. It is some kids so much younger than me, working in coal mines, more like slaves. The feeling was terrible thinking about all these kids. Forced into labor on this earth, and never heard of Jesus Christ. Its crazy.
Many thoughts run through my mind too. It is too long t write it down. It is probably one whole sermon lasting half an hour. Both to myself and also my fellow Christians. Then I prayed for some other people I know.
Then I sang, I would say, one of my favourite songs.
"As bread that is broken"
3 times I sang the song. Then I couldn't think of anything to do already. there was more than 30 minutes until 2a.m.
So I lied down, and started thinking. and pleading with God every now and then for certain people. but it wasn't very emotional. It is not that I am a stone hearted person. I know I would cry if I lost something precious. but somehow I don;t know why, that love for people just don;t seem to be that overwhelming, I have seen people cry as we all pray together. I have seen people cry when I'm speaking. I know it is all God. but it never happens to me, I dont know why.
I woke up around 2:30a.m. I didn't really sleep, I was simply in my thoughts for 1 hour. Then after I "woke up" I quickly took my comforter and went to sleep... good night...
suddenly I saw some shadows outside my window.
I was like..!? theif? No!, it was my sister. and I saw a shadow beside her. then I was thinking.... an evil spirit? then after thinking for a while... oh... it is probably her friend. but I was thinking why is her friend coming at 2:30 a.m.? I thought she went to sleep aleady.
nevermind. Good night God, see you tomorrow morning.
( there are still like another 5 minutes to type on something God laid on my heart about my neighbours... but it is a little long. I guess I will only blog it when it comes to pass...)