Friday morning, was not nice. My life recently was totally not something smooth and nice. Morning, woke up, look around and wonder what I'm gonna do. Thirsty. Have a cold drink... Ahhh...
then I sat down and started reading...everything just didn't feel nice.
Whatever I was doing, was not adventerous, was not exciting, and didn't look anywhere near productive. So I prayed... a little. Nothing seemed to move. But I know that God started working ( He has always been working is is still working and will still work )
I slept in the afternoon, and stuff was just so bad looking
went to church office after that. Met up with Pastor Mike. Haven't been seeing him since Planet Shakers.
So I told Pastor Mike about stuff that has been happening, baptized in the Holy Ghost, preaching house to house, facing rejection, but my blood still burns in me =D. The more I said it, the more I felt okay. But that was still a little far away from what I really wanted.
I had exciting times with God, ( well, missionaries may have better ones =P, but mine is still good, cus its with God ), and I know things could be much much better.
Then Pastor Mike asked me after a while, whether I'm okay if he had Bible study with me. I as quite delighted. I felt a little more important. ahha, but oh well, thats it. Christians grow through humility. I'm tasting God's grace, so is he. My identity is in God and I don't care if nobody wants to have Bible study with me as long as God is with me =D
After that, I went for my cell group... and all the way before the meeting actually got started, I was just jumping all along. I just jumped jumped and jumped. I wasn't totally burning yet, I had a lil fire within me. I don;t know if God is erasing my day earlier, but I didn;t wanna remember it. I was plainly singing and jumping, and I practically don;t care if you think I'm like a lil crazy. I think I;m really starting not to care, not really becuse I chose to.... but I simply don;t care, if I'm singing to God, the person next to me... is like invisible... hahaha...
Honestly speaking, I didn;t enjoy the cell meeting. Maybe I was in the wrong mood or what I don;t know. I think, God brought me there, so that I can be brought a little lower, just a little more. So I'm a little emptier, so He can fill me with his Love a little more. I got a book that night - Wild at Heart.
So I started reading. The book was writing about being a real man.
I was thinking, many people are probably laughing. but if God is calling out for a man, a man I shall be. hahaha. I mean. I'm serious!
okay read. and pray. Oh yeha. Remember the 2 hour quiet time.
It worked out, for 2 days only.
I ended up sleeping. It was supposed to be lying still in my thoughts. and closing my eyes would enable me to concentrate more. then hey! maybe God would speak to me hrough dreams! So I slept...
hahahaha
I think I'm simply forcing a discipline upon myself! crappy. I think I'll stop it and just pray as I used to pray. well, I dont want to say, as I used to pray. Not good. God will be able to bring me to a.... aiks... what is that England word.... I dunno if such a words exists... fervency???
wait lemme go check dictionary. oh yeah, it exists. but I think fervor sounds more right...
anyway, Saturday morning. wake up, go mamak for breakfast with Joshua San and Samuel. We are in this team called the MAG. dun really know what it all means, but I know we meet together, to really bond, as in have closer friendship compared to normal cell meetings weekly, and we are currently discussing about this book... Wild at Heart.
During makan time, we talked about our past 2 weeks and how it has been. Its really good =D. God is good, though sometimes upsetting, and then lifting up.... but I guess thats cool, ups and downs make life cooler... than to have simply straight lines. anyway, we talked about manhood and stuff like that.
Hmm, perhaps, real men are quite rare, nearing extinction. but ahaha, again, all our meetings are in a sense....private and we don't leak things out. hha, so go get the book, it is worth more than its cost. Oh yeha, anyway, the Bible is the best book. to compare the worth and the cost( of buying one) is absurd. but if u wanna compare anyway, it is like getting a trillion bucks per year for the next billion years for free.
anyway, back to the thing.after the meeting, I went to Pasar Seni. We were having street ministry that day. Street ministry practically means that, we bring the good news of Jesus Christ to the people of the streets. Mostly people who come are those people who are considered the more "rubbish","dirty","dangerous" people by the so called loving and caring Malaysian society.
but uh, well, I don't care about what they do anyway. Jesus still loves the brokenhearted and the poor.anyway, all the while, I was in some sort of argument with Jocelyn.
My stand, in a few words that I thought that, going out with Christians to do stuff like watch movie or walk around a mall is plainly a waste of time, and I have better things to do.
She thinks that it is a good time to bond with each other and that was how her life was transformed.
So I don;t want to offer one side of the story here since it is my blog, cos I will be biased if I do so. So we argued here and there, and I kinda ended up by saying stuff like...
fine, if you think that applies to you, do what you what.... for me, it doesn;t apply.
good, that stopped the argument, for a while.
so later on, we met at this place where we went through some briefing... and we strted heading to the place where the people gathered weekly for food ( once or twice or thrice a week I dunno ) anyway, the gospel was shared in a simple manner, I saw many people were missing the whole sharing out and I was a bit sad. It was really terrible that they missed the eternal life, but wanted to gobble up the food only. thats Satan's work. Satan is an evil person. Yuck.
so we( part of my mission team which was gonna go for Orang Asli and I ) along with the full time/ part time workers of a few churches distributed the food, and chinese tea.
then there was nursing services. Not long after that a doctor came and treated people.
I met this guy called stewen, I heard he fell down from a pedestrian bridge so now he has some sort of spine pain or sumthing like that. So I was praying for him, and I knew God was working something. He said.... hey young man, why when you prayed for me, suddenly your hand becomes so hot?
so as I as praying, I shared Jesus with him...
until this man came with a packet of medicine and water.
I was expecting God to fully heal him and here comes something like this!
I felt so interrupted. then a few people came and prayed for the man. I was laying my hand on that man too in the beginning. but after a while I just took my hand away. I simply thought I couldn't be doing the same thing. For all I know they probably don't agree with what I;m thinking anyway.
If they think God can use medicine, fine. You can do yours. I will see what God wants.
I didn't want to voice that out either. I was a new man there. If there was any problem with cooperation, it has to do with me.
So I simply went aside and asked God to simply pour out His love. I didn;t really care if I will be shamed. Jesus is made known, thats all I neded to see.
then I dunno when, I talked to Jocelyn again.
It was about medicine. I was quite sick of arguing, so I simply said I don;t want to talk about it, she can have it her way. I don'care.
Sometimes I think it is easier to go alone than to walk with someone I can;t agree with. of course, alone doesn;t mean I;m some lonely guy nobody cares about. Well, even if noone cares, I know Jesus cares.
I talked with Jaime a while after that. To a certain extent, we encouraged one another. We wanted to see something bigger =D. Like big faith with big guns and big bombs and big time ... having good times kick butting the devil's kingdom. hahha, that'd be real good show.
I went to church after that. But on the way to LRT, I met a beggar. I put a ringgit into his cup and said, Jesus loves you. then the beggar replied, yes brother! Jesus loves you too.
How much is that man a Christian I dunno, but I know he is quite open.
So there and then, we talked for a minute about Jesus, and I have him a map to a nearby church for the street people, just like him. I think he feels safe there.
I don;t think I should look down on Christians. but I think sometimes why normal people or the poorer people dont want to go to church because there are really many hypocrites around. and that is another terrible job of Satan again, coupled with man's sinful flesh. yuck yuck. I better be careful or else I be like that too.
there and then, in the middle of the hustle n bustile of pasar seni streets right outside LRT station, I was squatting down praying with him.
I think God is really God that He would do that, and more than that. I know it was so much of God, because I felt totally no embarassment or any struggle to hold that man close to myself.
If I was behaving like those worldly people... I wont even notice.... Siva.
Siva is his name. I don't think 1 person would know his name if I randomly picked out 1000 people on that street.
See, the world is sickening and it is evil. They need Jesus. They don't care about their weaker neighbours. Know why? to a certain extent yes, some people are plain proud. but as you would know by know. It is that devil. that guy who has been fighting against God for thousands of years.
in DUMC now. Super Saturday ( which is secondary school zone youth activity day ) was just over. Its nice to be in DUMC. Nice to sing =D. I met up with a few people. 2 of them was Praise and Christina. They are always together.
I was rather hyped up a little. so I just talked and talked and talked to them. Hunger for God. Preach the Gospel! follow Jesus! YAY!!!!
its really cool. I don;t know if they caught anything from me, but I hope they would bur like me one day! brighter! I would gladly see them surpass me in all these!
went for prayer meeting after that. Told Pastor Margaret that I got baptised in the Holy Ghost recently. and everything was really cool. i was jumping n singing and jumping and singing all the while. prayed prayed prayed!
It was nice praying. Its just nice to actually hear what I'm praying because words just come out of my mouth. The object of prayer is bigger than myself. The Person I;m praying to is God! Its mad!
well, of course I don't feel like that all the time. I do have my own quiet time, and my own struggles. but well, God has His timing =D, and for that time, it was a time to burn! and to pray with much fervor!
Sermon after that. My neighbour came to church today! Hallelujah! its like crazy!
see, up until 2 years ago, Jesus was like a western religion. but recently, they came to hear of Jesus, and now they are in church singing to Jesus, giving their lives bit by bit to Jesus. How glorious it is when i see their whole lives lived for Jesus very soon!
ah the song!
Soon and very soon... we are going to see the King!
yay!
I was so tired after that,went home, bathe and sleep.
there are somethings I like about weekends. I get to meet church people! but most of the time I'm... i'm more used to spend time alone with God... thinking, reflecting and praying. Hmm, I think I better be careful of this. that enemy might just use weekends to destroy me.
Sunday comes. Morning go BM church.
My dad didn;t really like it. because I might just put him in trouble if my "muslim" kakak got caught or something like that.
Afternoon, my dad asked me to go learn driving from him in the parl. Holy Spirit told me not to go. but I wanted anyway. Now at that moment, after coming home; I thought of just getting a driver someday. I don't wanna drive. I didn;t know how to drive well, and I got scolded. well, if you are reading this, dont judge my dad, I know him more than you do, and Jesus knows my dad better. Unless Jesus sends judgemnt from heaven, I will just shut up.
okay. Afternoon, read Wild at Heart in my room. I almost cried. I know God was touching some soft parts in my heart. I didn't cry. I didn't know why either.
then I slept...
went to Kian Leong's house. Su foong had her birthday 2 days earlier... so this ws a surprise party =D. Got some champagne poppers! so quite a lot of people turned up. Then Auntie Lilian came, with uncle and lil Calvin. so it was like quite fun hanging around.
Uncle Jeremy was like halfway makan-ing his banana when a MAG member of su foong just took his pic. I was like.. ahhahahahahahah!!!!! holding 1 banana half eaten kena take pic... like so DUH lidat.
play with baby la... her auntie Su foong share testimony la... its cool la. then when everbody was going back... I forgot who suhhested that Calvin should take 2 bananas back for Chris... I was like. hahahahahha.... okay....
neway, its cool la today...
so thats... friday till Sunday!
Ciao!
Thank you God for the ups and downs, because I know you shape me through all these things! thank you God~ In Jesus name! AMEN!